Last week I was trying to explain to my niece why doing things that you are afraid of is good. Why, she asked quite reasonably, would you do things that scare you?
I had lots of good answers at the time, but I am a giant hypocrite. I can confront the smaller fears, sure. The big scary life changing things that I know I need to do to keep my sanity? Not so much.
No, this life change thing is one long road of creeping baby steps and sometimes it can be hard to keep focus and motivation going.
Honestly, I’m not sure of a quick fix way out of it yet.
I did have fun at Winter Wonderland’s unofficial opening though. My boyfriend got a pair of free wrist bands that got us free rides between 5pm and 9pm.
Of course, he doesn’t like the fast ones, and I have issues with height.
Shame to waste them though. We took it in turns to choose rides. I started off slow and took him on the pirate ship (we were the only people on there over sixteen.) He was not so kind and took me on the Ferris Wheel.
Can you see how tiny the people in the bottom left hand corner are?
The mulled cider helped.
Before too much of the mulled cider was drunk, we were both buzzing. We’d come off rides with the endorphins pumping, and were wandering through the markets wrapped in each others arms and laughing like a pair of kids. It’d been so long since we’d done that.
So, facing fear is good. Ripping off the plaster may still not be the most practical or fair solution, but I need to start taking more risks. I need to do some of that volunteering work I’ve been talking about. More importantly, I need to be brave enough to let people down, and say a firm, responding ‘no’ to doing the things that are not helping me forwards, but instead tying me more firmly to the life that I want to change.
And I need to stop trying to do it alone. I need to be honest about saying I don’t want to do this anymore. Little help, please? I’m hoping these blog posts will, at least partly, make me more accountable.
So, networking is my next fear to face. See the Careershifters article which has almost convinced me that networking is just like making friends.
And the Science of People by Vanessa Van Edwards is also becoming my favourite ‘I’m going to try that’ tool.