There’s only been one moment in my life when I’ve actually cried tears of joy.
In 2010 I submitted the first three pages of my novel to a writing conference, and received a commendation. I didn’t even get placed, but oh my goodness, my name still went on the website. I got some lovely feedback from the judges, and I cried absolute spine wracking sobs of relief when I read it.
It was amazing, they liked it, they really liked it!
Note that was in 2010. You may wonder what the Hell I’ve been doing for the last six years? So do I. Daily.
Back then I had just split up with my husband, changed jobs, changed houses and I was determined to make the most of life. I was hungry for the changes I was going to make. Then I shoved my hands in my pockets and slouched off to gaze at my navel.
I was still writing, still planning, but the actual taking charge of my life and having the courage of my convictions bled away into the ether.
I forgot the hunger and slid back into an easier slip stream.
It’s hard to fake it for ever though, and now that the hunger is back it’s like a clawing beast in my gut. I need to keep hold of it, and feed it so that I don’t let my ambitions dwindle away again. It’s what is going to drive me to shoot for something better and help me bash my fear of failure into submission.
Staying hungry is going to help me get what I want, but I’m also worried that it’s going to lose me other things that I want too. I sometimes feel like I’m working two jobs, and although my partner is supportive on the surface, I feel like sometimes when he gets home an hour after me he’s wondering why the washing up hasn’t been done.
How do your partners feel about your writing? Especially if you have a full time job too? Any tips on balancing everything would be much appreciated.
A big thank you to Alex J. Cavanaugh and the Writer’s Support Group (sign up here)